Forget Swiping. I Built a Booking Funnel to Find My Future Missus.

You’ve seen the ads. You’ve watched the video. You’re curious. Admit it.
I’m Chase Melbourne, and I’m on a mission: 100 dates to find the one.
Think you’ve got what it takes to be #37?

CLICK BELOW TO WATCH FIRST!

TESTIMONIALS

REAL REVIEWS FROM REAL WOMEN WHO REGRET EVERYTHING

We asked past Zoom Dates what they thought. Big mistake.

Erin:

“Wow. That was the worst date I’ve ever been on. 0/10. Do not recommend.”

Sarah:

“I can't believe I wasted 15 minutes of my life. And I sat through the whole call.”

Clara:

“Just awful. Absolutely would not recommend. I laughed twice, but still. No.”

Maddie:

“He told me this was a ‘lead funnel for love’ — I should’ve known better.”

Jess:

“He said ‘let's vibe’ then showed me his dog. 3 stars for the dog.”

For Fun Times Like Above

Book Now!

We Specalise In Dating At A Medium Level

For example...

☕ Split-bill coffee dates (we believe in equality)

🍝 Discount pasta Thursdays

🕯️ Candlelight dinners (LED candle, still counts)

🚶‍♂️ Long walks (because they’re free)

🤲 Mediocre back rubs (no certificate, lots of effort)

📺 Shared Netflix login (might cancel anytime)

STILL NOT SURE?

Frequently Avoided Questions

FAQ — Fully Awkward Questions

😳 Is this actually real?

Yeah. I built the entire thing myself.
Most guys send a “hey.”
I built a lead funnel.
You're welcome.

❓Why Zoom and not a normal app?

Because I value my time more than sending 97 “how was your weekend?” messages.
If we click, we’ll both know in 15 minutes.
If not, at least I didn’t waste a week sending GIFs and hoping for a reply.

❓What happens on the call?

Probably some banter.
Probably some awkward laughs.
Maybe I compliment your dog.
No pressure, no weird vibes — just two humans figuring out if it’s worth a round two.

❓What if it’s awkward?

Then we both get a good story.
I’ll fake an emergency. You can say your chicken’s on fire.
We’re adults. We can exit with grace.

❓Do I need to dress up?

Only if you're trying to win.
But honestly — hoodie, messy bun, slight attitude?
Dangerous combo. Proceed with caution.

❓What kind of girl are you chasing?

Laugh at dark humour

Know the difference between confidence and cockiness

Can handle a bloke who thinks sarcasm is a love language

❓Is this whole site just a joke?

Yes.
And no.
Depends how you define “joke.”
Because I’m funny, yeah — but I also built all this while most guys can’t even commit to replying “yeah sounds good.”

What Happens After You Book?

Because you deserve to know what kind of wild ride you're strapping in for.

✅ STEP 1: The Zoom Call

We jump on a video call. You judge me quietly.

I act cool but probably overshare in the first 90 seconds.

There may be a dog cameo.

There may be a mullet.

There will be vibes… or visible disappointment. Either way, we commit to the full 15 mins like mature adults.

If you survive this, you move to round 2.

🥴 STEP 2: The Actual Date

We meet in real life — wild, I know.
Could be coffee, a walk, or awkward eye contact over cheap parma.

I’ll plan something passable.
You bring the bare minimum of enthusiasm.

If we both pretend to enjoy it, we’re halfway to romance.

No pressure, but if you ghost after this, at least do it creatively

💔 STEP 3: Fall Madly in Love (Temporarily)

This is the part where we tell people we “met through a mutual friend” because
“landing page with CRM automation” just sounds sad.

We date.
We text.
We possibly share fries and a Spotify playlist.

We fall in love — for like 3 months — and then you break my heart and I rebuild this funnel stronger.

It’s modern dating. There are no fairy tales — but there might be cuddles and sarcasm.

Ready to get started?